Build a Connection

According to the Department of Health and Human Services, Parents Speak Up, "Teens who feel more connected to their parents, are more likely to have their first sexual experience later than teens who are less connected to their parents."

We can encourage parents to build that connection through consistent opportunities of exchange.  Parents offer love, interest, and affection by listening, encouraging, and creatively spurring their teen onward towards critical thinking and life goals.

Build connection by transitioning from a voice of advice to a voice of advocacy. Be your teen’s greatest advocate. Show them that you are ceaselessly behind them and rooting them on! This does not require that you, as the parent, fine-tune all the details for your teen.  Just be available and interested in all the details should they seek your wisdom. It is best to avoid not answering questions that are not being asked.  In the reverse, ask the questions that are asked and find every opportunity to gain your teen’s trust. The questions and curiosities are there and you are one of the best sources.  They will learn that over time.  Allow them to find courage, safety and acceptance in your exchanges and trust that your teen will seek you out as you consistently commit to make yourself available. Your teen needs to see that you are calm and supportive, not ready to put them on trial or under the dissection microscope.

Build connection by letting your teen be the expert on his/her world. It is very thoughtful of you to be savvy about your teen’s world, but avoid touting that knowledge or waving it in front of your teen. They are less interested in how much you know and far more interested in how much you care.

Build connection showing your teen that you do not shirk away tough conversation. If they sense an absence of fear in you, their fear will be much more apt to decline as well. Think of yourself as the thermostat. They are checking your temperature and if it is on the rise in apprehension or anger, theirs is much more apt to ascend and flare as well.  According to the Department of Health and Human Services, Parents Speak Up, 73% of teens think that their parents are the most significant influence regarding their sexual debut and sexual integrity.

By the way, meal time is still the best avenue for a natural exchange between family members. Good communication supports good decisions.

>>Using Technology To Communicate With Your Teens>>