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For Parents l For Pregnancy Centers
How Parents Can Teach Abstinence
Teaching abstinence until marriage can seem like a difficult task for parents. However the benefit of the message outweighs a parent’s fear. Parents need to take advantage of every opportunity to teach abstinence as children mature.
Decades of research proves that when parents are involved students have:
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higher grades, test scores and graduation rates
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better school attendance
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increased motivation, better self-esteem
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lower rates of suspension
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decreased use of drugs and alcohol
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fewer instances of violent behavior
(Source: Michigan Department of Education, March 2002, “What Research Says About Parent Involvement in Children’s Education, In Relation To Academic Achievement.”)
The risks of not teaching abstinence are significant. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimate that 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted infections occur each year, with almost half occurring in young people ages 15-24. Beyond the physical and psychological toll that causes for those infected, the economical cost is estimated to be up to $14.7 billion dollars (in 2006 dollars). As a parent, teaching abstinence is crucial to help eliminate these risks and consequences for children. Additionally, character qualities associated with abstinence, such as self-control, will help teens prepare for a healthy future marriage.
To teach abstinence is to teach that the healthiest choice for today, and the future, is choosing to save all sexual activity until marriage. Abstinence until marriage is the only way to prevent the emotional, spiritual, physical, social and financial consequences of sexual activity. Children have to face a sex-saturated culture with confidence. While parents may not feel like their children respect their opinion, children do say that their parents are the most important factor in their decision making.
What Do You Teach
There are a number of helpful resources available. A&M provides several workbooks to aid you in sharing this important message with your teen in an inspiring way. Aspire or Excel, may be used to have a weekly discussion with your teen. Have students complete one chapter per week on their own and make a plan to sit down about once per week to review the “Talking It Over” parents’ page at the end of each chapter. Read through the chapter on your own beforehand and highlight any key questions to discuss with your teen in addition to the “Talking It Over” notes. Ask questions and listen. Resist the urge to give lots of advice. When sharing advice, form questions to help them discover the wisdom behind your counsel, which also helps them feel ownership for the ideas. I suggest having a separate copy of the book for the teen so that they can write in their answers and know that it is private.
Make your time of meeting together a special, focused time by going to a coffee shop or something similar. Besides teaching them about abstinence, you are building a relationship with them and developing an open line of communication. Perhaps less important than what you say is that you are spending time with your teen and letting them know that this is an important issue that you want them to discuss with you. Being available for your teen can provide a significant source of encouragement and help them to make smart choices that will protect their future.
>>How Can Parents Teach Teens About Marriage>>
>>Read about the Price-Tag of Teen Pregnancy>>
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