June 3, 2026 This article was written with the assistance of AI, adapted from a recent podcast episode transcript from the Real Alex Clark Podcast, America’s Kids Are Falling Behind: A Way Out For Teachers & Parents with Dr. Hutz Hertzberg. Hutz Herzberg - CEO of Turning Point Education on the Real Alex Clark Podcast Something feels deeply off in American education right now — and more families than ever are starting to trust that instinct. Kids can't read. Boys are falling behind at alarming rates. Teachers are burning out and leaving the profession. AI is reshaping how students learn. And many parents are quietly asking a question they never expected to ask: What is school actually doing to my child? Dr. Hutz Herzburg, Chief Education Officer for Turning Point Education, recently joined Culture Apothecary to tackle all of it head-on. With decades of experience leading schools, universities, and educational organizations, Dr. Herzburg offered a frank diagnosis of what's broken — and a genuine vision for what comes next. Why Can't Kids Read Anymore? It's not one thing, says Dr. Herzburg — it's everything compounding at once. A distracted generation raised on screens. Teaching quality that has declined steadily for decades. And a curriculum philosophy rooted in progressive thinking that dates back to the early 1900s, one that has gradually moved American education away from the classical model that once produced some of the most literate, capable citizens in the world. The result? High schoolers reading at a third-grade level. Math scores at historic lows. And a generation that, in Dr. Herzburg's words, cannot truly be free — because freedom requires the ability to read, reason, and think independently. Boys Are Being Left Behind One of the most urgent issues in modern education is the struggle of young men. Dr. Herzburg argues that schools have tried to teach boys like girls — expecting them to sit still, stay quiet, and absorb information passively for hours on end. That's not how boys are wired. Classical education, with its emphasis on active learning, nature, exploration, and hands-on experience, offers a far better fit. Turning Point Education has even developed a two-year father-son curriculum called Iron Works, combining physical activity, Bible study, and practical life skills to help boys grow into strong, grounded young men. Schools Are Spiritually Formative — Whether You Realize It or Not One of the most sobering points Dr. Herzburg makes is that there is no such thing as neutral education. Every classroom teaches a worldview — and in most public schools today, that worldview is actively hostile to faith. Christian teachers face enormous pressure to stay silent, keep their heads down, or leave altogether. And many are choosing to leave, taking with them the last flickers of light in an increasingly dark system. Research cited in the conversation puts it in stark terms: only 4% of Americans currently hold a biblical worldview. The school system, Dr. Herzburg argues, has played a significant role in that collapse. A Growing Movement Fighting Back The encouraging news is that parents, pastors, and educators are waking up. Homeschooling is booming. Classical schools are multiplying across the country. Churches are rediscovering their historic role in holistic education. And organizations like Turning Point Education are equipping the people on the front lines with tools, community, and courage. Join the Conversation This Summer Turning Point Education's 5th Annual Educator Summit — themed Courage in Our Convictions: Cultivating Clarity in Chaos — takes place June 16–19 in Lincolnshire, Illinois. It's built for public school teachers, Christian school educators, homeschooling parents, pastors, and school board members. Featuring 28 speakers including Dr. Al Mohler, Riley Gaines, and George Barna, it's designed to both encourage and equip everyone who feels the weight of this moment in education. Tickets are just $50 — and with code ALEXCLARK at turningpointed.com, you'll get 30% off. Meals are included, and discounted hotel rooms are available at the Marriott Lincolnshire Resort.

by Rachel Sheffield @RachelSheffiel2 from The Heritage Foundation blog May 26, 2026 Summary- Birth rates are likely to continue to fall if marriage continues to decline. Parents, schools, churches, and media should educate young people about the importance and benefits of marriage and help young adults prepare to build and maintain healthy marriages. Marriage is the institution that is most likely to produce children and the environment that fosters the healthiest setting for their development. It is therefore, by definition, crucial to the current and future well-being of the country, and restoring it to its proper place will require both cultural change and policy action that is informed by that change. KEY TAKEAWAYS The principal driver of declining birth rates is the fact that fewer Americans are marrying and forming families. The sharp decline in births among women in their 20s today is not being offset by an increase in births among women in their 30s and 40s. Restoring marriage to its proper place will require both cultural change and policy action that is informed by that change. Birth rates in the U.S. continue to fall according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released in April 20261 The country’s birth rates have been declining steadily for more than a decade, and the total fertility rate (the number of births a woman is projected to have over her lifetime) continues to hit new lows. Births in the U.S. are well below the replacement rate—the number of children born per woman that is necessary to replace the current population.2 The data released by the CDC show that the downward trend in fertility continued in 2025. The birth rate dropped from 53.8 births per 1,000 women in 2024 to 53.1 in 2025, and the total number of births declined by 22,534.3 In addition: Teen births fell, particularly among older teens (ages 18–19); Among all age groups of women younger than 30, births and birth rates (the number of births per 1,000 women in each age group) fell; and Among women 30 and older, the birth rate increased or remained steady (in the case of women ages 45–54).4 Some media outlets and scholars say the drop in birth rates represents positive trends. They argue that the decline is driven by falling teen births and by women in their 20s delaying relationships and motherhood to secure more stable lives for themselves and their future families. Proponents of this argument assume that births are being delayed until later in life rather than forgone altogether.5 The reality, however, is more concerning. Although teen births did decline somewhat in 2025, the principal driver of declining birth rates is the fact that that fewer Americans are marrying and forming families. The sharp decline in births among women in their 20s today is not being offset by an increase in births among women in their 30s and 40s. Births delayed by women in their 20s today will likely mean overall lower births by the time these women reach the end of their childbearing years. Teen Births Teen births dropped by nearly 12,000 between 2024 and 2025. The teen birth rate—the number of births per 1,000 teenage women—dropped by 0.1 among the youngest group of teens (ages 10–14), by 0.6 for young women ages 15–17, and by 1.7 for young women ages 18–19.6 While declines in unwed teen birth rates are good news, particularly in the case of minor-age young women, teen birth rates do not have much effect on the overall U.S. birth rate because they are only a small share of births today.7 Declining teen births reinforce overall lower birth rates, but they are not driving the overall decrease in birth rates. To illustrate, even if teen births had decreased to zero in 2025 while all other births had remained steady (no declines among women in their 20s and no increases among women in their 30s and 40s), the overall birth rate would have remained nearly unchanged. Declining and Rising Births Among Women in Their 20s and 30s The largest driver of declining birth rates is the large drop in births among women in their 20s. Declining birth rates among women in their 20s have a significant effect on the overall birth rate because this age group typically bears the largest number of children. Women in their 20s are old enough to have found a partner and married or at least to be at a socially acceptable age to have children. Biological fertility is also at peak or near peak for women in their 20s.8 Births among women in their 20s fell by more than 30,000 between 2024 and 2025. The largest declines in birth rates also occurred among women in their 20s: 3.9 for women ages 25–29 and 3.6 for women ages 20–24.9 Some of the decline in births among women in their 20s, particularly women in their early 20s, is likely due to fewer births to unwed mothers. Declining unwed births is a positive trend. Children born outside of marriage are at higher risk for many negative outcomes.10 Increased Births Among Women in Their 30s and 40s Some of the decline in births among women in their 20s is offset by an increase in births among women in their 30s and 40s. This lends support to the theory that births are just being delayed rather than forgone. However, the increase in births by older women has not fully offset declining births among women in their 20s. Between 2024 and 2025, the birth rate increased by 2.5 for women ages 30–34, 0.8 for women ages 35–39, and 0.1 for women ages 45–54.11 It is not yet possible to know how many births delayed by women who are currently in their 20s will be births that are permanently forgone. However, completed fertility among recent cohorts remains well below replacement, and unless there is a major reversal of that trend, birth rates will continue to fall. Declining Family Formation What best explains the continual decline in births is the fact that fewer adults are marrying and forming families. Marriage and childbearing are strongly connected. Although the U.S. has an exceedingly high nonmarital birth rate, most births still take place within marriage. Births to married couples have declined far less than have marriage rates themselves. Married women have a much higher average number of children compared to their unmarried peers. The average number of children born to married couples has remained roughly steady for the past three decades with modest declines in recent years. Taken together, these trends suggest that declining marriages are the primary driver of declining births.12 The consequences of declining marriage and family formation go beyond shrinking birth rates. Smaller families and fewer people with families of their own mean fewer family members for people to rely on for support over the course of life. More older adults will reach old age without spouses or adult children to care for them, and this will likely entail negative consequences for the well-being of the elderly as well as greater reliance on government health care and social services.13 Declining family formation is also linked to broader social consequences. Americans report rising loneliness, but married adults with children tend to be happier, have greater well-being, are less lonely, and are more engaged in their communities.14 Reasons for Declining Marriage and Family Formation Americans have not rejected the idea of marriage altogether. Most unmarried Americans say they would like to marry someday, but fewer are reaching that goal.15 Society encourages young people to delay marriage, often to pursue personal and professional goals. For some, this means never marrying or having children.16 Educational and career achievement are emphasized, along with personal autonomy and relationship experimentation. For those who do wed, marriage is often viewed as the capstone of adult life rather than as the cornerstone of a life that couples build together. Economic factors also play a role in declining marriage, but these factors have more to do with increased opportunity cost and rising material expectations for marriage than they do with declining economic well-being.17 Policy Recommendations Restoring a culture of marriage is needed to create thriving families, communites, and societies. But birth rates will likely continue to fall if marriage continues to decline. Therefore: Parents, schools, churches, and media should educate young people about the importance and benefits of marriage and help young adults prepare to build and maintain healthy marriages. Reducing marriage penalties in the welfare system is also crucial to strengthening marriages in low-income communities. Marrying can often mean a substantial reduction in welfare benefits, creating a significant barrier to marital formation among lower-income Americans. The Heritage Foundation’s Special Report on the family provides dozens of pro-marriage policy recommendations, including tax credits for married-parent families and investment accounts redeemable upon marriage.18 Conclusion Marriage is the institution that is most likely to produce children and the environment that fosters the healthiest setting for their development. It is therefore, by definition, crucial to the current and future well-being of the country, and restoring it to its proper place will require both cultural change and policy action that is informed by that change. Rachel Sheffield is a Research Fellow for Welfare and Family Policy in the Center for Health and Welfare Policy at The Heritage Foundation. Footnotes: See Table 1, “Births and Birth Rate, by Age of Mother: United States, Final 2024 and Provisional 2025,” in Brady E. Hamilton, Michelle J.K. Osterman, and Elizabeth C.W. Gregory, “Births: Provisional Data for 2025,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics, National Vital Statistics System, Vital Statistics Rapid Release Report No. 43, April 2026, p. 6, https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/vsrr/vsrr043.pdf (accessed May 19, 2026). Rachel Sheffield and Delano Squires, “Crossroads: American Family Life at the Intersection of Tradition and Modernity,” Heritage Foundation Special Report No. 310, March 4, 2025, https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/report/crossroads-american-family-life-the-intersection-tradition-and-modernity. Hamilton et al., “Births: Provisional Data for 2025.” Calculation of the total fertility rate was not released but will likely fall further from the previous year’s historical low. Among a couple of age groups of women over age 30 (specifically, women ages 30–34 and 45–54), the number of total births dropped even though their birth rate increased or stayed steady. Birth rates can increase or remain steady while the number of births declines when the number of women in that age group declines. See Sabrina Tavernise and Jeff Adelson, “The Birthrate Is Plunging. Why Some Say That’s a Good Thing,” The New York Times, February 27, 2026, https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/27/us/politics/us-birthrate-decline-women.html (accessed May 19, 2026); Sabrina Tavernise, “U.S. Fertility Rates Drop to Another Record Low,” The New York Times, April 9, 2026, https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/09/us/fertility-rates-decline.html (accessed May 19, 2026). Table 1, “Births and Birth Rate, by Age of Mother: United States, Final 2024 and Provisional 2025,” in Hamilton et al., “Births: Provisional Data for 2025.” During the past several decades, the decline in teen births has been accompanied by a decline in teen pregnancies and abortions; the drop in teen births is therefore not simply about more young women getting abortions. See Doris W. Chiu, Isaac Maddow-Zimet, and Kathryn Kost, Pregnancies, Births and Abortions in the United States, 1973–2020: National and State Trends by Age (New York: Guttmacher Institute, 2024), https://www.guttmacher.org/report/pregnancies-births-abortions-in-united-states-1973-2020 (accessed May 20, 2026). Teen births used to be a much larger share of U.S. births. In the first half of the 20th century, teen births were common because people married at younger ages. It used to be that teen births were nearly always to married women. In recent decades, the vast majority of teen births have been to unwed mothers. Births to teenage women declined after the Baby Boom era as the age of first marriage began to increase in the U.S. Teen birth rates stayed flat during the 1970s and through much of the 1980s but began to rise rapidly in the late 1980s and into the early 1990s. The rise in unwed teen births was of great concern to policymakers and other leaders and a social trend that most of the public agreed was problematic. There was a concerted effort to reduce teen pregnancies and births. Teen pregnancies and births have been falling for about three decades and are now at historic lows. See Figure 1, “Teen Birth Rate, 1940–2023,” in Alexandria K. Mickler and Jessica Tollestrup, “Teen Births in the United States: Overview and Recent Trends,” Congressional Research Service Report for Members and Committees of Congress No. R45184, updated April 17, 2025, https://www.congress.gov/crs_external_products/R/PDF/R45184/R45184.12.pdf (accessed May 19, 2026), and U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, “Statistical Briefing Book: Youth Population Characteristics: Percent of Births to Unmarried Teen Mothers, 1955–2023,” released October 6, 2025, https://www.ojjdp.gov/ojstatbb/population/qa01303.asp (accessed May 20, 2026). American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, “Frequently Asked Questions: Having a Baby After Age 35: How Aging Affects Fertility and Pregnancy,” last updated February 2023, last reviewed April 2025, https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/having-a-baby-after-age-35-how-aging-affects-fertility-and-pregnancy (accessed May 20, 2026). Table 1, “Births and Birth Rate, by Age of Mother: United States, Final 2024 and Provisional 2025,” in Hamilton et al., “Births: Provisional Data for 2025.” These drops are larger than the drop in teen birth rates and greater than the increases in birth rates among women in their 30s and 40s. See Melissa S. Kearney, The Two-Parent Privilege: How Americans Stopped Getting Married and Started Falling Behind (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2023). But unwed births are not declining because of higher marriage rates among these women. Rather, more people are failing to marry and to have children at all. Table 1, “Births and Birth Rate, by Age of Mother: United States, Final 2024 and Provisional 2025,” in Hamilton et al., “Births: Provisional Data for 2025.” Overall, their total number of births increased by 19,572, but roughly 30,000 fewer births occurred to women in their 20s in 2025, so the additional 19,572 births among older women still led to a large net decline. Sheffield and Squires, “Crossroads: American Family Life at the Intersection of Tradition and Modernity,” and Roger Severino, Jay W. Richards, Emma Waters, Delano Squires, Rachel Sheffield, and Robert Rector, “Saving America by Saving the Family: A Foundation for the Next 250 Years,” Heritage Foundation Special Report No. 323, January 8, 2026, https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/report/saving-america-saving-the-family-foundation-the-next-250-years. Rachel Sheffield, The Consequences of Declining Fertility for Social Capital, U.S. Congress, Joint Economic Committee Republicans, Social Capital Project, December 2022, https://www.jec.senate.gov/public/_cache/files/635c69dc-6a5a-467b-b7b0-3ab906fb4a94/the-consequences-of-declining-fertility-for-social-capital.pdf (accessed May 20, 2026). Ibid. Jeffrey M. Jones, “Is Marriage Becoming Irrelevant?” Gallup Poll Social Series, December 28, 2020, https://news.gallup.com/poll/316223/fewer-say-important-parents-married.aspx (accessed May 20, 2026). Rachel Sheffield, “How Modern Approaches to Relationships Decrease the Likelihood of a Healthy Marriage,” Heritage Foundation Backgrounder No. 3843, November 8, 2024, https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/report/how-modern-approaches-relationships-decrease-the-likelihood-healthy; Steven Ruggles, “Marriage, Family Systems, and Economic Opportunity in the United States Since 1850,” University of Minnesota, Minnesota Population Center Working Paper No. 2014-11, December 2014, https://users.pop.umn.edu/~ruggl001/Articles/Ruggles_Marriage_2014.pdf (accessed May 19, 2026). Rachel Sheffield, “The Working-Class Marriage Decline: How Higher Expectations and Shifting Norms, Not Wages, Are the Main Cause,” Heritage Foundation Special Report No. 329, May 19, 2026, https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/report/the-working-class-marriage-decline-how-higher-expectations-and-shifting; Scott Winship, Bringing Home the Bacon: Have Trends in Men’s Pay Weakened the Traditional Family? American Enterprise Institute, December 2022, https://www.aei.org/research-products/report/bringing-home-the-bacon-have-trends-in-mens-pay-weakened-the-traditional-family/ (accessed May 19, 2026); Severino et al., “Saving America by Saving the Family: A Foundation for the Next 250 Years.” Severino et al., “Saving America by Saving the Family: A Foundation for the Next 250 Years.”

According to recent news reports, the U.S. Department of Justice Civil Rights Division has launched investigations into 36 Illinois public school districts to determine whether sexual orientation and gender ideology (SOGI) content has been included in classroom instruction for students in grades pre-K through 12. As part of the federal review, investigators are examining whether schools properly informed parents of their right to opt their children out of certain instruction where applicable. The inquiry will also review policies related to access to single-sex intimate spaces—including bathrooms and locker rooms—as well as participation in girls’ sports teams and how those policies are determined. This investigation has become one of the most talked-about education stories in Illinois and has intensified the national conversation surrounding parental rights in education, sex education opt out policies, gender ideology in schools, and school transparency. For many families, the concern is not simply about curriculum itself, but whether parents are being fully informed about what is being taught and whether they are given meaningful opportunities to make decisions for their children. Parental Rights in Schools and Illinois Sex Education Policies Across Illinois and throughout the country, parents have increasingly raised concerns about classroom instruction involving sexuality, gender identity, and related social issues. Questions surrounding parent notification, curriculum transparency, and sex ed opt out rights have become major topics at school board meetings and in state legislatures. Illinois law allows schools to provide comprehensive sex education, while also outlining circumstances in which parents may opt students out of certain instruction. The DOJ investigation seeks to determine whether districts have consistently followed those procedures and whether families were properly notified of their rights. Concerns About Current Sex Education Programs This investigation comes as news to many Illinois families, but concerns surrounding public school sex education have existed for years. Critics argue that some classroom materials and discussions are not age-appropriate and may conflict with the values many parents wish to teach at home. Organizations advocating for reform have stated that they believe much of modern sex education has moved away from basic health instruction and into harmful topics for young people. Supporters of reform say schools should focus more heavily on helping students build strong futures, healthy relationships, personal responsibility, and long-term success rather than introducing controversial topics at increasingly younger ages. A Turning Point for Illinois Schools? The federal investigation could become a major turning point in how Illinois schools approach curriculum transparency, parent communication, and student policies moving forward. Many parents believe schools function best when families are treated as partners in education rather than being excluded from important decisions involving sensitive topics. Looking Ahead The investigation has sparked widespread discussion across Illinois communities and beyond. To view the full list of schools involved, click here. *** This post was crafted with AI assistance.

by Robert VerBruggen, @RAVERBRUGGEN from the Institute for Family Studies blog April 11, 2024 In a brief new paper, sociologists Joanna R. Pepin and Philip N. Cohen highlight a new and worrisome trend: Fewer high-school seniors think they will get married one day, per the Monitoring the Future (MTF) survey. Fewer of them think they’d make a good spouse, too. Source: Pepin, J. R., & Cohen, P. N. (2024). "Growing Uncertainty in Marriage Expectations among U.S. Youth." Socius, 10. These trends are important in themselves. As Pepin and Cohen point out, the data may portend further declines in the marriage rate. I wanted to float some hypotheses about why they might be happening, too. First, could declining marriage expectations track the “Great Awokening”—the rise of left-wing sentiment among young people, especially women, in the past 10 years or so? The MTF data show growing liberal identification among young women (rising from about 20 to 30% in the past decade), and other evidence suggests liberals are less likely to marry, so it would make sense for declining marriage intentions to be bundled with these larger phenomena. I downloaded the MTF data for 2012 through 2022 (except for 2020, which, as Pepin and Cohen warn, is a bit wonky) to take a look. Here’s the share of each sex saying they think they’ll get married, divided by self-identified political leanings, over time.1 If changes in political identification entirely drove the trend above, separating the data this way would make the lines completely flat; or, if self-identified liberals were drifting anti-marriage, the change would be concentrated among them. Unfortunately, because not every respondent is asked every question, many of the individual points here are based on small sample sizes, creating some awkward lurches.2 But taken as a whole, this shows declining intentions for women even within political ideologies, while the trends for men are a bit flatter. It also, of course, affirms the premise that self-identified liberals are less likely to say they think they’ll marry. So politics could be part of the explanation, but these results are frankly more boring than I hoped. As for young people’s opinions about how great of spouses they would make, does the trend reflect changing views of marriage, or is the rise and fall simply an illustration of Millennial narcissism? Jean Twenge has famously shown that narcissistic personality traits rose among the young until about 2008 before declining with the economy. Looking at the trend above, my first thought was not “ugh, those Gen Z-ers hate marriage” but rather “wow, we Millennials were full of ourselves back in the day.” I’m no psychologist, but from the MTF data I can affirm that, unsurprisingly, people who think highly of themselves in general also tend to believe they would be fantastic spouses. Combining that whole period, only about a third of respondents who thought they were “far below average” in intelligence also thought they’d be “very good” spouses, versus about 60% of those who thought their smarts were above or far above average. Similarly, only 4% of kids who thought they’d make poor workers also believed they’d be very good spouses, versus 69% of those who thought they’d make very good workers. I don't want to make too much of this quick-and-dirty number crunching. Marriage expectations also go along with high regard for oneself as a spouse, so Pepin and Cohen are correct to see a connection: 61% of those who think they’ll get married, but only 24% of those who think they won't, believe they’d make very good spouses. And, after all, someone who accurately thinks he’s smart and a good worker might entirely reasonably think he’d be a good spouse for many of the same reasons. But these questions pick up something more than objective reality—specifically, a healthy dose of pompousness—seeing that about 60% of these kids thought they were at least slightly above average in intelligence, while not even 10% thought they were below average. Ultimately, the uptick in kids saying they don’t think they’ll marry is worrisome; exactly why this is happening is an open question. I wouldn’t launch a federal initiative to inflate Gen Z’s egos just yet—but maybe we should all send the young adults in our life a copy of Brad Wilcox's new book. Robert VerBruggen is a Manhattan Institute fellow and IFS research fellow. 1. The spectrum is collapsed to liberal, moderate, and conservative. Radicals are grouped in with liberals, and none/don’t know with moderates. 2. For example, in 2022, only 711 people answered whether they thought they’d get married, which in the chart gets divided into two sexes and three political ideologies each, with only 42 conservative women, a mere one of whom didn’t think she’d get married.

by Brad Wilcox, @BRADWILCOXIFS | David Bass from the Institute For Family Studies blog August 9, 2023 Americans who are married with children are now leading happier and more prosperous lives, on average, than men and women who are single and childless. Is that statement surprising? In an age that prizes individualism, workism, and a host of other self-centric “isms” above marriage and family, it may well be. But the reality is that nothing currently predicts happiness in life better than a good marriage. This truth is borne out yet again in new research from the University of Chicago, which found that marriage is the “the most important differentiator” of who is happy in America, and that falling marriage rates are a chief reason why happiness has declined nationally. The research, surveying thousands of respondents, revealed a startling 30-percentage-point happiness divide between married and unmarried Americans. This happiness boost held true for both men and women. “Marital status is and has been a very important marker for happiness,” researcher Sam Peltzman concludes. “The happiness landslide comes entirely from the married. Low happiness characterizes all types of non-married. No subsequent population categorization will yield so large a difference in happiness across so many people.” Continue reading at Unherd . . . .

by Katy Faust, @ADVO_KATY from the Institute for Family Studies blog February 22, 2024 At the age of 34, I was a stay-at-home mom with four young kids living in one of the nation's most expensive cities. I had left a job I loved at age 25 to devote myself full-time to our family of now-six living on a pastor’s salary. Not only was I always tired and sometimes stressed, things were financially very lean. We were on utility discount programs, I shopped almost exclusively at Goodwill, and I was a master gleaner of just-about-to-go-bad produce at rock bottom prices. Around that time I reconnected with a high school friend with a brainy husband who decided she wasn't going to have children. “Kids are such a drain, and if I left my job, I’d never regain that lost ground. Besides, the world is overpopulated anyway,” she remarked while sipping a latte I could barely afford. As I recently shared, there was one moment on the side of a freeway when I was catching my 4-year-old’s vomit in my hands in the pouring rain when I wondered if I had made the right choice to not only prioritize marriage, but motherhood. The avalanche of data in Brad Wilcox's newest book, Get Married has the answer. Per usual, Wilcox’s research is unassailable. He's not just the guy I go to looking for precision stats on the number of women who initiate divorces or answers to granular questions about cohabitation. He's the go-to for outlets like the New York Times and The Atlantic as well. So when it comes to the numbers, Wilcox is right. What do the numbers tell us? An increasing percentage of young adults (ages 18-40) think education (64%) and money (75%) are more critical to fulfillment than marriage (32%). Wilcox also explains the why behind those numbers. A swelling percentage of people who would have already married in previous generations now largely see wedlock as a portal to “boredom, forgone job opportunities, the burdens of parenthood, oppressive gender roles, and being tied down.” They are rejecting marriage in an attempt to “maximize their freedom, wealth, and fulfillment—especially when they are in their twenties.” Get Married spends several chapters explaining why those conclusions are totally wrong. The data is clear that “marriage and family life are often more important for our sense of meaning, direction, and happiness than the degree on our wall, the place we punch a clock, or our ability to maximize our autonomy.” In one don’t-even-try-to-argue-with-the-findings-study, Wilcox reports: the odds that men and women say they are “very happy” with their lives are a staggering 545 percent higher for those who are very happily married, compared to their peers who are not married or who are less than very happy in their marriages. When it comes to predicting overall happiness, a good marriage is far more important than how much education you get, how much money you make, how often you have sex, and, yes, even how satisfied you are with your work. Ok. Marriage it is, then. After all, filming and editing those DINK videos is easier with two. But Wilcox doesn't let you off the hook there. He spends an entire chapter, “The Parent Trap,” making it clear that you should not only Get Married, but Get Pregnant. First, the numbers again. Wilcox cites a Pew poll that found “more than half of adults agreed that having a job or career they enjoy is “essential” to living a fulfilling life. But only about one in five felt the same way about having children.” He points to the exact “pervasive cultural forces” articulated by my high school friend who elevated her career over motherhood: No kids… means more freedom, more fun. In other words, individualism plus hedonism. But childlessness is also being elevated now not just as an obstacle to professional success or an expression of selfishness but as the moral choice in a world where children are depicted as a threat to the environment. Is a childless life more “free”? Certainly. Is it more “fun”? Maybe… if you favor casinos over karaoke-style carpooling with the pre-teen crowd. Is it good for the planet? Nope. (But that's a subject for another article.) Freedom, fun, and environmental fanaticism may sound great in your 20s or 30s, but Get Married has reams of stats connecting the rise of the single, childless life with loneliness, meaninglessness, and sadness. If it's fulfillment you're after, Wilcox makes clear that it’s time to have some kids. For example, he notes: Childless Americans are more likely to report that their lives are lonely, and less likely to report that they are meaningful and happy. Nearly 60% of men and women who do not have kids report they are lonely, some, most, or all of the time, whereas parents say the same only 45% of the time. Parents are more likely to report their lives are meaningful, “noting that they find a great deal of meaning in spending time with family.” 82% of parents are “very happy” or “pretty happy,” compared to 68% of their childless peers. Childless men and women are more likely than parents to say their lives are sad, most or all of the time. I’ve heard it said, “if someone can't accurately diagnose the problem, don't listen to their answer.” Wilcox understands the problem. That’s why we must heed his solution. If you want a fulfilling life, you should not only get married, but get pregnant. That's certainly how my story unfolded. My kids are now 14, 16, 18, and 20. The little society that my husband and I built is bursting with laughter, joy, and meaning. Loneliness? What does that even mean? My childless friend on the other hand seems to ever be hunting for fulfillment: following the latest trendy diet, in search of another gripping book, waiting for the next interesting work project. Her career peaked years ago, so she's now planning to retire at 50. She's lived in grand homes all across the world, wears Dolce and Gabbana glasses, and has a personal trainer. She's also told me that when her husband leaves for a couple weeks on a business trip or to visit his ailing father, she gets sad. The childlessness that seemed so liberating when she was sipping that latte 12 years ago has revealed itself as a meaningless void. The dominant problems in our society are not primarily material. They are relational. The solution is to form and create the most durable relational bonds known to mankind—the marriage kind. The parenthood kind. Read Wilcox’s new book. Then, get married, get pregnant, and be happy.

by Cody Wubs from A&M Partnership February 15, 2024 The season of singleness can be one of the most life giving and joyful parts of our lives. I heard it put like this one time if you aren’t content in singleness then you won’t be content in marriage. No matter what stage of life we find ourselves in we have had a season of singleness. It can be lonely and dark at times, but it can be exciting and joyful too. It really comes down to a person's mindset with singleness. It is no different to how one approaches life in general. How one decides to respond to life’s circumstances can impact their mindset and it may not change the situation, but it can change one's perspective. Although movies about singleness aren't topping the charts and books usually don't end in singleness, it is an important season in every person's life. A person's perspective behind it can greatly affect their future relationships. Here are four ways I have seen myself grow in how I view and approach singleness in a healthy way. 1. Being single doesn't mean we are alone. Wanting to be married is a good thing. We were designed for it. But before we are married, we will find ourselves single. We aren’t meant to be alone. The Bible states in Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper for him.” From the beginning we are meant to do life together. Who we do life with is going to be different for us throughout our lives. Each season brings a different community. While we are married, we will have our spouse to love and support us but while we are single we have friends, family, or roommates. We need to find a community of people that we can trust and that will embrace us for who we are. We need to have people that will challenge us and encourage us. Community looks different in different seasons. 2. Being single allows us to be free to pursue life unencumbered. Think of a time when you wanted to do something or a friend wanted to spend time together or somebody asked for help, and you were there right away. My guess is that this was when you were single. When we are in a relationship or married, how we use our time changes. So, while we have ample time on our hands being single, pursue what matters in life and what you love to do wholeheartedly. Travel, sing, do art, play sports, exercise, volunteer, find a job you love, build strong friendships, care for your family, etc. whatever it is go and do it. Each and everyone of us are designed with specific gifts and talents to be of great benefit for this world. 3. Being single gives us time to grow. While we are single, we can grow in areas such as self control or self discipline, and learn who we are on our own. There can be an unnecessary amount of pressure surrounding the need to be in a relationship, especially for the younger generation, or rushing to get married. Just because everybody else is doing it doesn't mean you have to do it, sometimes the relationship you want isn’t the right one for you. It is also okay to wait and be patient as we seek our spouse. The stages of life happen in different seasons for everybody, being patient is key. There are many emotions and feelings with dating. We need to be wise to consider both ours and the other person’s heart when we pursue a relationship. Growing while being single can look like processing past relationships and taking time to heal from past hurt. It is wise to be self aware and evaluate if you are emotionally ready before jumping into a relationship. If you do not take the time to grow on your own, relationships could cause more hurt. You are trying to get to know the other person as well as showing them who you are. When we embrace singleness we are able to pursue friendships and approach dating with wisdom. In singleness, we are free of pressures that come with dating, the biggest one being physical pressures of being intimate. The best and healthiest way to engage in sexual activity is marriage. The biggest benefit when abstaining from any sexual activity till marriage will be in getting to know someone better without clouding your judgment and connecting yourself to someone physically. It will also help in guarding your heart from heartbreak and help in making an informed decision if this person is someone you want to marry. 4. Being single doesn't mean you can't be content. Some people will never have “til death do us part”. That doesn't mean their lives are less fulfilled. We are not made complete or whole by somebody else. Your girlfriend, boyfriend, or even spouse doesn’t complete you. We are a completely whole person inside and outside of relationships. If we weren’t complete or whole that would mean for much of our lives, we were half of a person. The whole concept of being made complete by somebody else is emphasized so much in society. We need to stop this mentality. Looking at all the ways I have grown in seeing singleness as a positive season, I have seen my perspective change. My own story of singleness is one that I want to share to encourage and challenge. I personally have never dated anybody as of the writing of this blog. Although there are times when I feel lonely, I have never felt empty. I want to be married and have a wife to care for and love, but I am content as I wait. Some days can be harder than others but we grow the most through trials in life. I have pursued my passions and joys in life. I still put myself out there and try my best at finding my spouse but it doesn’t always work out. My life is full even without a relationship. Being single has never stopped me from living my life well. It can be true for you too, so go and enjoy life, find your passions, build friendships, travel, explore, and experience life!